so close

I am pretty much relaxed about going home tomorrow...In a way it is hard to believe what happened in these last 7 weeks. The last balur was Wednesday, and it was a good one but more than anything it was such a relief. Each step I sort of checked off my list and the last smoke session was long.. my room got really smoky and when it was over I was thrilled. Faiza had been asking me to do a make-over on her for weeks... I had NO makeup with me so I bought some Revlon and finally brought it in. I did some of the girls...Faiza had no eyebrows and draws them in everyday (not well) so I did very glamourous brows, it was fun to see them all watching and I think they liked it... I put clear lipgloss and mascara on Walde and she could not stop laughing.

I did not get emotional like in Malang although the hugs were sweet and everybody said they would miss us. Gretha said goodbye and we had a warm hug... She is such an enigma. There is a party today at Utami Geiger's ..she is a subud lady that also takes balur and everybody from the clinic is supposed to be there.

Yesterday we went to a mall for pedicures to hide the coffee stained nails and got a coffee from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf... It was so delicious and we were both in good moods because we are almost going home.

It is still a struggle inside my mind... sometimes I get a wave of panic that I have cancer but usually I feel like I have control over my health and my positive thoughts and feelings are healing and doing balur is powerful...My hope is that I can feel a little bit better every day, every minute and that I stay active in this balur because it needs a lot of attention.

more later...

xxoo