Screaming Thighs

FINALLY.... I got a picture of the enormous statue my mom and I call

Screaming Thighs... It is in a big roundabout in the middle of the street...It is terrifying. I wish you could see it in person, he is screaming and his thighs are very muscl=y I think it is something from the Olympics..because of the flame.

We are hatching a plan to go to the other Balur clinic in Malang... the other side of Java.

We are getting tired of the traffic and the noise and the rush of Jakarta... Malang is quieter, in the mountains, cooler and the clinic is supposed to be really nice. We have had a couple nurses from there work on us and we liked them so we are going next week... we will have been here 4 weeks... 20 treatments. We asked Gretha if she thought it was a good idea and she said yes... then she told me she would hit me before I go... this sounds like a threat! But I am sure it's for my own good.

I am working on projecting what I want during my treatment... so today I thought of each syringe of smoke entering my body as teeny bursts of pink lights..penetrating ... every time.

It felt really good...I had my ipod playing a beautiful song my therapist gave me that is good for the soul... Adi liked it too...even though he asked if I have any Toni Braxton.

I am thinking of tiny particles and healthy cells, and commanding the murcury out. And also trying to transform negative thoughts and beliefs into positives. I think all the good thoughts from my family and friends is helping too... so far so good...

xxxooo!!!!! thanks for the support!

mie ayam

this is one of millions of food carts on the street.

I think it's chicken noodle soup.
and this is a typical Pandang style restaurant where all the food is stacked in the window in bowls all day... I wonder if I will ever have the nerve to eat in one....
It is Sunday afternoon and our luxurious weekend is almost over...yesterday we spent most of our time in traffic...went to lunch at Koi in Kemang... which was tasty! It is such a luxury to go to a real live restaurant...with lattes.

We went to Latihan in Pamulang last night... It was really satisfying and I am glad we went.

The room where it takes place is called a pandopo, it is a beautiful room with a very high ceiling in the middle probably 25'...and chandeliers that are never on and oriental carpets, ceiling fans

and 4 big carved pillars in the middle, Rohanna said the pillars are carved out of special trees.

It is a special room for sure, they say it shouldn't matter where you do the latihan but it is really nice to do it there...

Today we went shopping for batiks and things in a big department store called Pasaraya.....I have a cold and I feel ok but I am sneezing and blowing a lot.

The liver flush is on and I might be a little crabby. We drink loads of apple juice with phosphoric acid for a week and then next Saturday, we drink epsom salts, which I still haven't found here ... and 1/2 cup of olive oil and 1/4 cup of lemon juice... then we eat berries with a cup of cream... then when we go to bed our livers just relax and flush out toxins and gall stones...!

I remember Kiki once showed me pictures of little phosphorescent blobs that she passed during this same cleanse so I am looking forward to some kind of magic.

Here are my shout outs for the week...

Happy birthday Alfie!! you are finally 1 !

Happy Mother's day alll you mothers...

Happy Birthday Stephanie!!! Yidiot.,

Happy birthday Casey!!!!! HEY batterbatterbatter......!

Happy wedding Taylor and Gabe!!!!!!!!!!

I love you alll ssoooooo much!

taxi man

This gentleman works in the parking lot of the clinic, everyday he flags us a cab...notice the green fruit in his hand.

It's Friday evening, I am mindlessly watching fashion TV... which is an endless parade of runway shows and interviews with models... It is simultaneously boring and fascinating.

My mom is sleeping. We had an epic taxi ride home that was 2x longer than usual and we were hungry and then we had to take naps. As we were getting in the cab a green fruit fell from a tree and almost brained my mom...

This was out 3rd week...we are pretty much used to it. It is predictable when you get what...

It takes 2.s-3 hours 3x eyewash and smoke your ears and nose followed by

scrub, rub vitaminC + asprin, smoke, compress(tin foil rest) enema, scrub, slap, smoke, hot rub, compress, enema, rub cassava or onion, smoke, rub coffee, enema coffee, rub egg white. done.

But yesterday a couple times during enema they actually did smoke. Yeah, they blew smoke up my ass. With the syringe. It was very uncomfortable! My stomach was gurrggling all day and all night. But today when they did it it was fine. Still I am happy to be off for the weekend.

I have a sore throat, I may fight it off ... I didn't bring a scarf so I am wearing a pair of leggings around my neck.

Rohanna and I had a conversation about how what you project is what you perceive. Like all those books about seeing and creating what you want to have in your life.. but they are missing a key which forgiveness . So all the time I was on the table I was remembering all the events I have seen as my fault and imagining forgiving everything. It will be interesting to see what that does to my treatment and we will see in the crystals in the petrie dish. I am keeping track of what I think about each time so I can compare...

ok. that's it for now...

xxoo

this is the view from our livingroom...it's raining.

and this is me in the shower right after my balur.

Balur means to rub to the left. They do the same thing in the same order every day, kind of.

the rubbing stuff in is my favorite part, sometimes they really rub hard and it hurts but it always feels good after.

Today after my Balur Dr. Gretha had me go into her office. She had 7 or 8 petrie dishes all with dates on them, we looked at the patterns that were left in the glass after drying... mine look pretty good. Some days they are better than others...it will always be up and down because

of how focused you are each time and also we uncover different layers...I asked if she can always see the cancer.. she said yes. I asked if she can see my cancer, she said NO. I said so I don't have cancer ...? no she said. I do have some little obstructions in there but now we think I don't even have cancer... and I didn't have it when I got here. that is certainly supported by the alternative healing books I am reading, they call everything cancer. Anyway, I have decided not to think about any of it and just focus on being healthy and having healthy cells.

We just watched American Idol... It was Sinatra week... after one guy sang my mom said it was a terrible performance... and " it didn't cook!" She is a real jazz cat.

xxoo

kids on motorcycles

I forgot my camera today so ...

this is a photo from the other day.. there are so many people on little motorcycles and many of them have 3 or 4 people, and a lot of kids. I am always shocked to see a whole family on one...

Ever since the first day at the clinic I have noticed everyone is kind of curious about my body...

they don't have many fat people here... they make comments like " we will make you sexy!" and " you are getting so slim!" many people there pat me on the stomach as a greeting...

and my nurses regularly pay extra attention to my inner thighs and stomach. Usually I would be embarrassed but it is so innocent and I am kind of flattered. Yesterday the Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Boom was on when I got there...and when they were rythmically slapping some smelly stuff on me they, sang it while they did my stomach. I guess I got that boom boom boom.

We are starting a liver flush tomorrow... it is not the clinic's protocall but we all want to do it.

there is a lot of apple juice and epsom salts involved. So we were in search of organic apple juice, and we found a grocery store and restaurant that is the best so far... we had sushi for lunch! And I got Radiccio and tahini... I am so happy.

I just watched friends and cried when Rachel found out she was pregnant. I hope the liver flush doesn't magnify my feelings...I don't know if I can take it.

one other thing...Please feel free to invite anyone to read this blog, I am not a secret!

xxxooo

Juice factory

this is the juice factory my mom and I made today... 5 bags of clean organic stuff..what a relief. we will drink it all this week.
and this is a guy pulling a trash bin in the street... in flip flops. I am sure they wear clogs in Denmark...when in Rome...

The funniest thing that happened today was when it was time to go face up I almost slid off the table. It is very slippery! and I had momentum and we all caught me just in time... and then we cracked up. Adi was there and sometimes he pushed in the smoke too although I sensed that they all thought that was wierd. He said my skin was so soft... like a baby goat. cool

then he asked me random questions for example do I like frog... to eat. yeah, I like a good frogleg. And he told me Faidja wanted a makeover... she is the only one who wears makeup, I don' t see how she keeps it on as she is sweating all day. And I don't know who told her I am a makeup artist... not me. She has henna on her toenails and little dots on her toes... it is pretty.

She will do mine one day. I feel extra good today, sometimes during the balur I feel superhuman... like a surge of power happens... I try and use this to make healthy cells.

I am reading a healing book where you can reprogram your beliefs on 4 levels and command God to heal you ... It is hard to keep every single negative thought from bubbling up... But I am trying, and when I feel good it is easier.. And of course all the support from my people is priceless. I am so grateful for everyones good vibes... I think I am living on them.

xxoo!

I finally got a photo of Murray... here he is with a very old subud lady ... He is the one with such bad prostate cancer he arrived at the clinic on a stretcher...

And this is a display of ginsing in the mall... I have no idea why.

Today we didn't have balur... and our skin needed a break. We both have rashes again.

and I have really itchy ankles... I am not sure what it is.

I went to latihan alone because my mom needed a real day off. It was the 1st time we have been apart for more than 10 minutes ...I took the wrong road and it took me 40 minutes walking in the HEAT to get there... It was worth it.

then I went to a huge mall. So crazy, this big mall with a marks and spencers, zara, adiddas... so many big western stores and outside it is all people squatting in the streets selling crap and skinny cats.

I didn't really want anything, I got scrubby gloves to scrub all the stains off and a backpack.

And groceries for dinner. I wish I new more vocabulary, it is so hard to figure out what things are. All the fish have their heads on... and I didn't want to deal. so I got shrimp.

Last night my mom went to bed around 9 and I watched a movie with Christina Ricci where she has a pig nose and they all think the curse will be broken if she marries a fancy man but instead she runs away from the wedding and tells her mom she likes herself the way she is ... and then the pig nose is gone and she gets the man she loves. I guess I need to be constantly reminded to love myself...all of me all of the time. thanks television.!

love you all!!

xxoo